ADVICE COLUMN

[Fat Bastard]

(Please go to the end of the thread to see the current post!)

FRIDAY IS ADVICE COLUMN DAY!

Just leave your questions as a comment here,
and every Friday, you'll see some answers!

You could sign your question as "Haggered in Harrisburg",
for example, or whatever you think of.

DO: Pick the appropriate advice columnist,
to suit your need, from the following list,
then post your question:

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If you have a serious question, you can dubiously entrust
your future happiness and success to, erm, I mean, you can:

Ask Hunny!



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If you're NOT serious and just want to have some fun - which is
mostly what we're looking for - choose from the following list:




My girlfriend seems to be ashamed of my job as a fruit seller. How can I
convince her that this is a job which has great potential to make me
a billionaire fruit mogul? She just laughs at me when I point this out.


What you need to do is actually eat some of the fruit. Have you ever eaten
some of that fruit? I didn't think so. It's awful!! For a great many reasons:
It doesn't go good with beer (so there's your male market gone right there,
and lady golfers). It can't be used to make a sandwich. And it smells FRUITY!
And Guru doesn't like fruity! raaaaaaarp! *swill, scratch scratch*


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Advice From The Tin Foil Hat Lady

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him
it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.





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ASK MAGNUSON !

Got a question or problem? Need to know the answer right away?
ASK MAGNUSON! He may not know the answer to everything, but
he'll give you one anyway; and we assure you that's just as good!!
So don't fret without a direction, or make a plan without a clue.
Get an answer, right now, to what's been bugging you!
Just ask Magnuson!

MAGNUSON KNOWS!!



________________________________


Dear Magnuson,

I talked with Hunny, and she is concerned if there's someone else
under your sheets. I mean, it doesn't look there's only your legs there.
Please tell us? We can't ask you questions sincerely, without being sure
there's no third party listening to our serious problems.

Thank you, Magnuson.


MAGNUSON KNOWS!!



Em, it is only my legs. I'm just levitating.. a little *looks shifty*

You know.. levitating.

*waits*

*sweats*

*bursts into confession*

Okay Okay!! I admit it!
I have a small family living under there. I'm subletting
(it truly upsets them every time I do, too. *waits*)

(I told ya' I was gonna work some fart humor in here! )

Wait. *checks* Hmm, they don't seem to be moving any more..

Well, it was probably the lack of oxygen. Or something.

Oh well. So I have a place available. Anyone need a place to live?? *blinkz*
Cheap rent!! Easy maintenance!

It's heated.





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Ask The Moose!

"I want to ask about Yogi and Boo Boo. I'm not sure I understand their relationship"

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Ask A Redneck



Dear costomer,

Yer cor's almost riddy! Me and Earl's rite on the job.
When you first dropped it off to be fixed, in 1993,
we didn't realize just how herd it could..well,
let's just say one thing led to th' other,
and like thet..anyhow, it's almost riddy!

- Earl and Bubba, backyard mechanics



YOU CIN ALSO GIT:

Home improvement advice...




Fashin Advice!




Body Shop Advice...




Don't pay high prices, build it yerself ADVICE...




Maruj Advice!




Other advice...




Or anything ya' jes' need to know about!




Just be shore n' ask a redneck!

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Okay, so pick one and ask a question!